Friday’s Letters; Texas Roadhouse and the nuts…

February 22nd, 2013 by Carrie, the Just Mildly Medicated gal

Dear Texas Roadhouse wait staff,

I swear I am a a great mom and I try to be an awesome person. I do not know why when my family comes into your restaurant I end up saying the most unfiltered things. The first time I thought it was because I had a drink and I am a light weight these days due to my becoming a bit of a shut it (okay mild exaggeration) and also my over all opinion that drinking alone just makes me laugh out loud and so often I make myself feel awkward (true story) so I don’t drink much.

So the first time I started this trend of embarrassing my family at your establishment, which I of course shared publicly right here during a confessions of a Mildly Medicated Mom, I think we all thought it was a fluke. My boys, at the time 7 and 9, were busy cracking peanuts and mom was sipping on some frozen fruitiness drink with a goal of feeling fuzzy. College town, packed place and cute waitress all around when I decide to give my sons the praise they deserve “Thanks for taking care of your nuts under the table!” Woa… the music stopped as I said this way to loud cause I am in that ‘I love you man’ phase of fuzzy. Ahh we laughed, we almost cried… well older son almost cried.of embarrassment and my husband and I almost cried because that was hilarious.

So we went a few nights ago and in the car we even had a laugh about the comment. I will be damned if when the waitress comes for our order I was not feeling great so I was a bit distracted, and I am ordering for 3 kids and myself and good god if someones order is wrong… well its high stakes (pun  intended sorry). While I am reciting the details of meals outside of my view the hubs smashes a peanut on his forehead . I was annoyed, ‘I am trying to get YOUR orders correct could you kids calm down’ is on the tip of my tongue.. and then BAM! My 7 year old smashes a peanut shell on his forehead so hard it shocks all of us. My immediate response was “GOOD LORD SON DO NOT SMASH NUTS ON YOUR FACE!”

I’ll be damned, it was in between songs again! The boys (including my husband) tried to keep it together, they really did, but of course what boys wouldn’t lose it over that one. Any hint of the words nut or ball, even if I ask “Do you want cheese balls” is grounds for my 10 year old to fall apart in hysterics then pulling the 7 year old in with him. The hubs is falling apart because 1) totally his fault and 2) the obvious yet unintended sexual innuendo which at this point was well over the kids heads (give em a few years and they’ll laugh all over again at these). My hubs owned up to starting it and I just shook my head mumbling things like ‘who does that’ until our food came.

I just hope you continue to find us amusing because we do love it there…

A few nuts shy of the circus,
Me

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3 Responses

  1. Linda Wilson says:

    I laughed so hard I cried just reading this one – can’t imagine sitting at the table!

  2. Too funny!! I can just see it :) My kids are the same way. We used to practice standardized testing and my kids would get such a kick out of one answer being B and the next M, hence my calling out the answers in succession…BM. They would laugh and laugh. It’s so nice when we can find the funny in things. Keep on keeping us laughing. After all, laughter is the best medicine :)

  3. in pursuit says:

    Bwahahahaha! You are so right our families need to go out to dinner together one day!! It would be hysterical! All kinds of innuendos and phrases that didn’t come out right. I just toatlly snorted reading this. You’ll be happy to know you’re not alone. Here’s what was said at my house tonight.
    Dad, are you making bacon?
    Yup.
    That’s good, mom loves meat.
    Yes she does son, yes she does. Especially my meat.
    Yeah, you make the best bacon, Dad.
    You’re right and your mother agrees my meat is the best.

    As you said “who says that”?
    V

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