Funny Friday: My Facebook friends are asses.

May 3rd, 2013 by Carrie, the Just Mildly Medicated gal

My Facebook friends are asses, kind of awesome asses but yep, asses.

I came out of a chronic illness fog and took a shower, added some fake tanning lotion so I could look a bit more like part of the living world, and actually did my hair. I admit I lost the energy for the effort and threw on a T-shirt and pajama pants and and didn’t even consider make up, but the point is I was more together than normal. Now as my chronic illness peeps know this is a feat for celebration. I needed photographic evidence that I was out of a zombie-like trance.

My photographer is four years old so most of the pics were of my leg or had such a blurry artistic edge I was unidentifiable. So like any 16 year old (or mom with no one around to take a picture) I selfied.

Selfie – A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to Facebook, Myspace or any other sort of social networking website. You can usually see the person’s arm holding out the camera in which case you can clearly tell that this person does not have any friends to take pictures of them so they resort to Myspace to find internet friends and post pictures of themselves, taken by themselves.
Ouch Urban Dictionary, I can’t help it that I am home alone geesh!

So on to how my Facebook friends are asses. I mean they are actually awesome but for the record in this post they are asses. I trusted them, I really trusted them. I cannot believe they have put me in this position.

What position you ask…

The position of looking like the crazy lady that brings her dog to Walmart for a photo session. Okay dog lovers, I don’t mean PetSmart photos with Santa or even family photo with your dog included, I am all about that. I mean blue back drop with a “photographer” telling you to look off in the distance (that would be the dog) creating a cheap kind of creepy image.

I am not fishing for compliments, I think its kind of cute… dog looks a tad stoned after looking at it too much during this middle of the night review. For all intent and purposes it is a fine photo and once almost 40 of the Facebook asses liked or commented on it I thought to myslef “self, lets make it a profile pic.”

Well as you know profile pics are tiny, and it looked even more portrait studio crazy.

So I updated my status “I just noticed my profile pic looks like a goofy walmart photo backdrop… it’s a denim couch. You would have told me if I look like walmart photo girl right? Hmm can I really trust you? “
So as of now you are thinking holy narcissism woman, who cares about your selfie Facebook picture. I promise it is worth it.

My Facebook friends (who are asses because they didn’t mention this BEFORE) pretty much confirmed my suspicions.  I continued it further by really deciding if it was bad 80’s creepy photo or more of a school picture.

That is when the awesomeness ensued…

I kid you not, this is where the asses became the awesome.

I was sent this…


Oh yes and this…

Then this…

If you were wondering I am leaving the original as a profile picture for awhile. Mostly because I don’t feel like showering and doing my hair in the same day but also because it reminds me that my friends are asses, but awesome asses!

HOUR LATER UPDATE: My amazing blogging buddy pal saw this and said “I did tell you that. I made a Walmart comment.” Sure enough on the original pic in with the comments was “Vicky the awesome chick from The Pursuit of Normal “Wow! Walmart had some creative backgrounds. Just kidding;)”

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29 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Too cute, Carrie. Love, Charity

  2. I truly do love that picture of you! I hope you know how amazing you are to go through everything you go through and still come out on top, and with such an awesome sense of humor. Much much love to you my friend. Love, Ass lol :)

  3. in pursuit says:

    Oh my gosh I’m dying!!!! That was so funny! The one with the solo Maggie all shady is hysterical!! And the brandy glass with the rose is totally 1972!! Who made you those? Totally and completely hysterical! you might want to call Walmart and ask them to add these as package options in the future.

  4. in pursuit says:

    Bwahahah! Thanks for the blurb on the blog;) I think you and you Hubs should renew your vows and give out those glasses as your wedding favors! Maybe Mags can be the ring bearer?

  5. Blake Borate says:

    OMG – too funny. I’m so happy to be one of your facebook asses.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I wish I had taken pictures like those with my service dog who died suddenly a month ago. Treasure them.

  7. You look great, you will definitely have to send me some of the fake tan stuff.

  8. Amy Glass says:

    :) Thanks for the smile today

  9. -TWE says:

    bahaha! Those pics are freakin hilarious! I even showed them to my husband and we both got a good laugh….especially since somewhere around 15 years ago we actually did have a cheesy pic of us and our dog made professionally! Thanks for the laugh!

  10. Kae James says:

    Lol, I enjoyed reading your post! Your pictures came out great for a selfie that is! Nice post!

  11. Lindsay says:

    oh man, i can’t stop laughing at this. i love how your pup is staring off wistfully…

  12. Anonymous says:

    Wow…Make up….really? I totally dont have the energy for that shit…Showering and getting dressed? Possibly depending on where I HAVE to go… But seriously loved this….Also I kinda liked the other renditions….Ooops my eighties is showing…better tuck that back in. Erin Fangboner

  13. I knew that was your couch…benefits of being your neighbor:) And a fellow FB ass:) LOVE LOVE LOVE that people took the time to 80’s up your pics!! too funny.

  14. OMG ~ This is hilarious! And the pics sent to you are priceless :) Yes, your friends are asses, but they are funny asses! So you have good friends ~ they know you well enough to know you’d laugh, too! Love it ~ and, by the way, it never even occurred to me that the 1st pic looked like a Wal-Mart-crazy lady-picture with her dog, BUT now that you mention it….

    Thanks for the laugh!

  15. Stacia says:

    BWAHHAHAHAAA!!! awesome. I love that your friends sent you “new” pics that you could use. That’s hilarious!

  16. That is great!!! Thanks for the laugh!

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