I don’t have OCD, I do have a fear of slippery slopes, meth is BAD… and I am now prepping for zombies

November 21st, 2012 by Carrie, the Just Mildly Medicated gal

I have a weekly ritual of setting up my medications for the week in a perfectly organized pill pack that has each day of the week and 4 slots per day for my meds. Yes I am OCD but only on non-cleaning things; actually by definition I am not OCD at all… boy have I bought into the overuse of OCD… digression already, new record!

I always forget I have two meds that need to be cut in half and always ask the hubby for a paper towel or plate and knife when I get to those last two. You know how sometimes an inside joke is so over done but you keep doing it, yeah me too, it’s coming up. I have my IPhone with me while getting my medication prep work done for the week. Like the majority of people in America, let alone the population of stay at home mothers coupled with the people with a chronic illness, it’s opened to Facebook. The mom’s meth lab comments start which apparently means I must update my closest 350 something friends on Facebook that my family accuses me of making meth on a weekly basis.

Status Update: “You know you take too many pills when you ask for a knife, a paper towel and your pill case and the weekly meth lab jokes begin”

An awesome friend pointed out that they make pill cutter things, but I had to keep it real and let her know I like a certain element of danger so I prefer my paper towel and fruit knife method (not sure if there is a more professional chef-like name for it). Plus I like the last sliver of denial I am holding onto about being chronically ill and a pill cutter might throw me over the edge. I mean seriously, I still haven’t filled out my handicap car decal paperwork from 6 months ago and I turn the channel if I have to see the hover-round commercial. It is a slippery slope to acceptance and I really am not ready to slide down that slope face first or on my ass. I am waiting until they install a hand rail or at least until I can safely roll in a graceful manner on a day when I am not wearing a dress… or pajamas

Back to my point, not sure if you are following but the point is meth. I thought it would be funny to know how to make meth so next week I can rattle off all the things I will ask my family to bring me to make my meth when I prep my meds. No, we don’t have all of the items and I know meth is NOT funny… but me pretending to make it is kind of funny, I mean to me anyway.

So within 5 minutes I have become a meth expert, which is kind of like doing homework to learn about the state I live in. Missouri is the number 1 spot for meth labs in the US. It’s also the state of the first parachute jump, home to the invention of the ice cream cone and iced tea (I am all about education people!)

This whole meth thing has me baffled though, it’s a lot of work. Why don’t these people just go buy beer or pot even, I mean I know it’s not legal in my state but I have moved a few times and moving and taking up recreational pot is probably easier than cooking up meth on a regular basis, plus methed out people are so not hot. Wanna be methies should Google some images of meth users before going all the way. I wasn’t exactly on the fence but it scared the shit out of me.

So in short I am not making meth, one part because it’s tedious and likely to blow up, one part because meth is unarguably bad and turns people into Walkers, yeah that’s right… zombism. Apparently my state is cookin it up so this whole zombie apocalypse might start here… I need to get ready, off to Bass Pro shop!

Zombies /  Meth addicts… too hard to tell the difference

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5 Responses

  1. Well done, the Walking Dead scare me too. Hopefully my skill level of blowing the shit out of paper targets is never called to task. Keep the faith and keep writing.

  2. mathilda says:

    I agree- well done! I set up my meds by the week, also, but only in a two-door-per-day box.. so far, I don’t need more than am/pm doses..which is good, since that’s all i can remember anyway! I have to split one of mine also, and don’t like splitters..big pharm has done me a favor, though, by putting a center line on my pill, and I can break it in half with my own two hands- no sharp equipment or knife needed! yay-I still have enough strength to do that! =)

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